Strongest in the Universe
by Janvierecouter
Summary: 17 came face to face with his worst fear. The monster wanted to absorb him and become the Strongest in the Universe. But..he was already the strongest! He was sure of it... It turns out he was right, as fate leads him to face the best the world had to offer, one after the other, with...surprising results. (What-If oneshot gagfic.)


The giant bug creature let out an ominous aura, one that filled him and his namekian companion with dread. It swirled around the monster, glowing brightly golden, faint shrieks of souls stolen away and made a part of its power echoing hollowly in the afternoon sky, begging for release from their prison.

If he still had the sensitivity in him, it would've made his stomach churn.

"What…is that?" 17 asked, staring bewilderedly at the creature.

Piccolo grit his teeth, shaking in both anger and fatigue. The creature had waited patiently until he was exhausted from his fight, knowing that the namekian wouldn't have the stamina to stop him anymore. Demonic AND clever, just like Gero intended.

"17, run away!" Piccolo screamed, shoving the cyborg behind him. "And take 18 with you!". He will hold the creature off. He hoped.

17 raised an eyebrow at him.

" 'scuse me?"

Run away? Did he look like a coward?

"This thing is named Cell and he's after you and 18. If he catches you, he will absorb you and become perfect! We can't let that happen!"

17 crossed his arms and snickered.

"Well, duh! I'm already perfect! There's not enough room for both of us on this planet!"

Piccolo rolled his eyes at him.

"Stop going full Vegeta on me. You never go full Vegeta!"

The creature snickered at their little banter and started moving forward, his ankles creaking like an unoiled hinge as he did.

"It's alright, Piccolo. After this is all said and done, all the Vegeta left in the world will be the part of me that Gero spliced in." Cell gestured to his chest.

Piccolo prepared an energy blast, but Cell appeared right in front of him and punched him in the gut so hard, it made the previous fight with 17 feel like child's play.

The namekian fell to his knees, his hand covering his mouth. He felt blood from his stomach rush upwards and escape through his fingers, dripping to the ground. Cell was considerably stronger than the last time they fought. He wasn't going to be able to beat him by himself now.

17 narrowed his eyes in disgust. He wanted to squash that bug so badly.

He got into a fighting stance, but felt an arm wrap tightly around him. He looked up to see 16, completely silently and with an uncharacteristically serious aura to him.

"We should listen to him. We are leaving." 16 said, picking him off the ground and sticking him under his armpit like a large piece of cardboard, then started running away.

18 lifted an eyebrow at this but before she could say anything, 16 grabbed her by her wrist with his other arm and dragged her behind him. He wasn't going to listen to their objections, it seemed.

He didn't get too far, though, before the creature appeared in front of him, blocking his path. He dropped the 2 smaller cyborgs on the ground unceremoniously and stood in front of them, like a shield. He was going to protect his friends, no matter what.

Piccolo limped up to him, cleaning his jaw. He felt like he could trust the big guy to aid him in his attempt to stop the monster. Maybe, together, they'd stand a chance.

16 looked over at Piccolo and smiled a friendly smile. They were on the same page. Good. This could be their last stand. They had to do this.

They charged at Cell together, putting in all their energy. This was going to be over very quickly.

* * *

It was over very quickly.

They had completely underestimated Cell and his resilience. Not only did he have all the powers of the Z fighters, but a cunning mind as well. Even if they were stronger together, he found a way to take them one at a time and exploit their weaknesses, while suffering no serious injuries himself due to his regenerative abilities.

17 and 18 stared at them back and forth, feeling completely overwhelmed by the display in front of them.

18 gulped, realizing for the first time that maybe their opponent was out of their league. It was a strange feeling of weakness; one she hadn't felt since the first time they encountered Gero and he managed to knock them out and drag them to his lab to make them into his machines. She hated that feeling. She wanted it to go away, forever.

She looked over at her brother. 17 seemed to be having an even harder time coping with it than she did. All this time, he lived under the impression that he was Gero's strongest warrior. That's what the doctor told him, that's what she told him, that's what he told himself. It's what kept him going through all their hardships. Now, not only was he completely surpassed by 16, but that Cell creature as well.

He was a weakling, from the very start. And it was making his world crumble right before his eyes. She felt like comforting him, but she wasn't the type to do that. Not to mention, it'd probably only make it worse for him to be pitied by her at a time like this. He would have to come to terms with this worthlessness in his own time.

Cell blasted Piccolo away into the sea, letting him slowly sink to the bottom. 16 lay on the ground, seemingly unconscious. Cell probably crushed a vital functioning mechanism in him.

He had his reward now.

He walked up to the 2 siblings, eyeing them with intent as they sat down on the rocky ground, appearing to still be in shock after witnessing everything that he did to their defenders.

He let out a cackle as he walked towards them, ever faster, licking his lips as he thought about their savory taste as he prepared to absorb them.

"Now, let's get this trivial matter over with, shall we?" the creature laughed "Come to me, my darlings, together we shall become the strongest in the universe!"

17 stood up and growled at him.

"I already AM the strongest in the Universe!" he screamed, lunging himself at Cell.

He promptly received a fist to the teeth, proving him otherwise.

Cell laughed as he knocked him to the ground, stepping on his spine repeatedly, enjoying the sound of his cracking vertebrae.

17 cried out in pain, his circuitry giving out almost as quickly as his organs. He started firing bolts from his mechanical joints, his arms and legs feeling quite limp. Cell stopped and moved away. He wanted to thoroughly humiliate him before eating him, it seemed.

He wasn't going to give up though. His mind kept repeating _'I AM the most powerful in the world'_ over and over, making him stand.

He dragged himself slowly towards the bug creature, lifting a trembling fist that barely reached the giant monster's chest and punched him with all of his remaining strength, though it barely felt like a child's slap.

Cell snickered at him and let him continue to hit him a couple of times.

 _'I…am…the…strongest..._ ' his mind kept saying as adrenaline rushed through him _'I…am…the…ultimate…cyborg'_. _Not 16, not YOU._ Even his machine parts joined in, as he felt the rush push him forward.

His punches got a little stronger, and his legs sort of didn't feel broken anymore. Tears stained his eyes, but he didn't even realize it.

18 covered her face in her hands. She couldn't watch this. It was so sad and pathetic, the saddest he ever looked.

Cell seemed to be getting bored with this game, and he grabbed him by the knot on his bandanna and lifted him to look him in the eyes.

"Let's move on, shall we? Let's make me the ultimate being" Cell stated, raising his stinger to eye level.

"I…already am Gero's ultimate creation…he said so…himself" 17 muttered weakly.

"We both know that that's a lie, 17. You are nothing but a failure. For you to have been Gero's ultimate creation, well, I'd DIE to see that" Cell laughed and let go of him, karate chopping him to the back of his neck with all of his might.

He was worried it might kill him, but oh well, for all he knew, 17 was just as good dead as he was alive, as long as he was in one piece.

17 felt his lights go out for a second, the mighty slash severing a vital link to his brain. He was going to die, he knew it. He lay on the ground, twitching, eyes wide open and vacant, all his resources frantically trying to keep his organic matter going.

18 gasped and stared at him in shock. She wanted to run away, but her legs wouldn't budge. She was like a deer caught in headlights.

Meanwhile, 17's mind was racing all over the place, everything feeling like it was muffled and blurred. That laugh...that obnoxious laugh…the creature was going to win…no, it wasn't going to win…he was, after all, THE STRONGEST…he knew he was.

Suddenly, he felt a jolt of power…something was there, something he could never access before, something he found only by searching through the deepest, darkest corners of himself. An alternate energy source, that seemed to be stronger than he ever anticipated.

' _Initializing Super 17 power module'_ an unknown voice echoed through his skull.

 _Wait, what?_

As if by miracle, he felt his wounds instantly heal, his circuitry instantly repaired, but more importantly, his ego instantly refreshed.

He stood up, a rush of energy overtaking him.

 _Payback time._

Cell looked at him in shock, as did 18. What was going on? What was that black aura emanating from him so strongly? She had never seen that before. Cell seemed to have an idea, though.

"That-that's impossible! How are you able to still stand?" Cell hissed, backing off a bit.

17 looked at him with confidence, the blood on his mouth drying up.

"Like I said…I am the strongest in the Universe!" he screamed, punching Cell through the gut, his hand coming out the other side like it went through wet tissue paper.

 _Holy shit. I really am!_ His mind caught up to him, realizing the situation. _I mean, I always knew that, but still…wow!_

16 managed to lift his head, watching the scene unfold before him. His face showed a mixture of surprise and pride.

"You go, little friend" he managed through broken lips.

* * *

This just went from the worst to the best day of his 18-and-however-many-in-stasis-years life.

Cell regenerated the hole in his stomach, feeling a bit anxious. He didn't expect this.

"You should be incapable of using this kind of power on your own!" he groaned, still feeling the hit.

17 responded with a flurry of punches and kicks, each one tearing Cell to pieces.

 _This is so cool right now! 18, look at me!_ his mind kept screaming.

Cell regenerated again.

"You pathetic little humanoid!" Cell snickered "Hit me all you want, as long as a piece of my brain still stays intact, I can regenerate as many times as I-"

He was abruptly cut off by a powerful energy blast that reduced him to ashes.

17 looked at the clearing smoke, his face expressionless as he lowered his hand.

 _Oh my god! I'm actually doing this! I actually won! I can't believe I won! 18, grab the champagne bottle!_ his mind giddied like a hyperactive schoolgirl.

He walked up to 18 proudly, his hands on his hips the whole time. She thought he looked like a duck doing it, but didn't want to tell him that.

"See? Nothing to worry about! I knew I was the strongest in the Universe!"

If he was made of wood and not metal, she was sure his nose would've grown a few inches.

"What...just happened?" she managed after a few seconds. How did he get this absurdly powerful for no reason?

And why was he still glowing that bright black light?

She was afraid of him right now.

She was snapped out of her thoughts when she saw him reach a hand to help her stand up.

"Let's go kill Goku TOGETHER, 18" he said with a bright, cheery smile. If it wasn't for the actual words he had just said, she would've found this scene touching.

They turned around to see a green hand reach out from the sea to grab a particularly not-slippery rock off the side of the island.

 _Oh, for goodness sake! I was having a moment here!_

The person lifted himself onto the rock, breathing heavily and letting a ton of water and a couple of crabs pour out of his ear.

 _Oh, it's just Piccolo. Scratch that, keeping the champagne._

Piccolo looked up to see the 2 young cyborgs stand in front of him.

"Why are you still here? Get away before-"

"It's done" 17 interrupted him.

"What?"

"It's done, I killed him" 17 insisted.

Piccolo narrowed his eyes.

"Bullshit"

"You don't believe the strongest warrior in the Universe was able to squash a pathetic little bug like that?" 17 pointed at himself. His pride was going to swell even more now, great.

"Like I said….bullshit" Piccolo repeated, unimpressed.

17 rolled his eyes and crossed his arms.

"Whatever. Don't believe me. I'll just go kill Goku now" he snapped his fingers at him in defiance. He snapping movement created a strong gust of wind that almost knocked Piccolo off the rock.

The hell?

Piccolo didn't want to believe him, but he did notice that Cell's life energy was strangely absent. Either he ran away...or 17 really was telling the truth. He really was…the strongest…he felt a gag in the back of his throat, like it was an impossible idea to stomach. A nagging feeling made him take precautions though.

"No, no you don't!" he ran up in front of the cyborg, extending his arms to block his path. He was going to have to do this again, huh? Same situation, different actor. What a day.

"Don't mess with the best, green man" 17 stared up at him, frowning.

"Like you would-" Piccolo was cut off abruptly as 17 kicked him in the chin, sending him flying all the way across the globe, twice, landing right back in the water where he came out from.

18 stared, her mouth agape. As did 17, but he wouldn't let it show.

 _How am I doing this?_

At that moment, he felt like he was reborn. Only instead of energy, he ran on coffee and pixie dust. And it felt magnificent.

17 grabbed her arm, dragging her away.

"Let's go, sis. There's a guy waiting to be killed" he added, smirking.

He stopped by 16, who was still trying to pick himself up.

"Let's get you patched up and go defeat those weaklings, big guy" 17 smiled at him, throwing him over his shoulder. 16's large limbs still sprawled over the ground, even while on 17's back.

"That wasn't right…Piccolo was friendly" 16 said weakly.

"Yea, but he was going to stop us from killing Goku. You want to not kill Goku?" 17 retorted.

"Piccolo was a necessary sacrifice" 16 replied in a serious tone.

That settled that.

* * *

The Z warriors felt scared. They didn't sense Piccolo for a good while, then he came back, then he was gone again. What was going on?

Tenshinhan clenched his fist, closing all his eyes in frustration. This can't be true…

As soon as he opened them, he saw the 3 machines land on the island. 17 was rather roughed up, his clothes torn and his face splotched with blood and what seemed like still open wounds, and 16 wasn't standing straight. His repairs were an obvious patch job. 18 looked rather fine, though, and thoroughly annoyed.

17 had not cut her any slack on how awesome he was for the past 20 minutes. If she didn't care so much about her hair, she would be pulling it out right now.

"Hey, look, the chump brigade is here." 17 smiled at them. "I won, where's my prize?"

 _This is good intimidation right here. Look strong. Flex some muscle,_ his mind spoke to him. He didn't have much to flex, but he'd try if he had to.

"Goku isn't here. Get lost, mop top" Tenshinhan pointed at him, accusingly.

"…'scuse me?" his left eye twitched slightly.

"Is your auditory system broken, Astro Boy? We're not giving him to you" the warrior insisted

 _Sigh. Nevermind. Show him who's boss._

17 walked up to him. The 3 eyed man towered over him, but he wasn't going to be looked down on. He lifted himself off the ground to hover about a head over him, staring him in the eyes. Well, the 2 he could look into, he wasn't about to ruin his vision for this.

"How about I change your mind" 17 narrowed his eyes at him.

He flicked the fighter's nose with his index to prove his point.

Tenshinhan went screening through Kame House and out the back, skirting on top of the ocean, splitting the waves as he did. He was out of sight in less than a millisecond.

Krillin stared behind himself, eyes wide. 17 looked at him, his face completely blank.

 _Pfoo yea, I went full Moses on that guy! Woo! 18, hey 18! Did'ja see that? Did'ja?!_ his mind ginned, a tiny mental him doing a little dance with his arms.

His face still didn't so much as sketch a smile.

"So, how about now?" 17 turned to the short one, a tinge of aggression in his voice.

"I..I can't tell you..I..I'm sorry" Krillin stammered, trying his best to keep himself from shaking.

"You pipsqueaks don't know who you're dealing with, do you?" 17 frowned at him, lifting his arm. He was going to use 2 fingers this time, for good measure.

18 walked up to him, shaking her head.

"Let me handle this one" she said, getting a couple of raised eyebrows at this.

She walked up to Krillin as the short bald man looked up at her, slightly less frightened than before. She bent over to his level and whispered something to him. 17 rubbed a finger in his ear, trying to catch that. Krillin went beet red and made a face that 17 wished he could unsee.

 _Eww eww eww._

He wanted to say 'cooties', but he was a little too old for that.

"Eww, chlamydia" he whispered.

You can never be too old for that.

"He's over at Kami's Lookout" Krillin said, still smiling absently, blood coming out of his non-existent nose in a very anatomically-defying way.

"These coordinated are in my programming, I can take you there" 16 answered.

18 walked over to 17, giving him a 'top that' look. Not that he'd want to. He probably couldn't, anyway. He wasn't gay, is what he meant.

"Alright little man, now that that's over with, time to defeat you as well" 17 got into a fighting stance.

Krillin raised a hand to stop him, his mind still seemingly busy with other thoughts.

"It's fine, I can handle myself" he said, throwing himself backwards into Kame House, making a new hole in the wall with his head.

17 cocked his head to the side, taken aback.

 _Seems like he has lots of experience with this._

* * *

The cyborgs (and android) flew over to Kami's Lookout. 17 insisted they drive a plane there, but he broke the steering wheel and kicked a hole in the cockpit when he got in. 18 cheered inwardly. He was going to have to adjust to his new power from now on.

So they had to fly the traditional way.

16 was happy with this, since he could meet birds along the way. 18 was happy just because it wouldn't take them 2 days to get there.

17 wasn't happy, but he kept it to himself. This was his moment and he wasn't about to ruin it.

Sure enough, Goku was indeed there with his son, waiting next to a closed door, glancing at it anxiously.

 _The…bathroom?_

"We finally get to face each other, Goku" 17 smirked.

"Who are you?" Goku scratched his head, quizzically.

"One of the cyborgs prophesied to kill you" 17 pointed at himself proudly.

"Oh...I remember you were a lot fatter" Goku answered, seemingly lost.

17 frowned in annoyance and decked him one upside the head.

Goku's head detached instantly and he fell to the ground, dead.

Gohan stared in shock and bewilderment.

17 stared at the body, surprised. That was it?

"Ok, now get up and fight me!" he added.

"Oh wow, you serious right now?" 18 retorted, shaking her head at his idiotic statement.

 _He's not getting up. Dammit. This was supposed to be the big one!_

It felt very hollow and unfulfilling. Like stuffing yourself full of cheese puffs and missing out on a steak dinner.

"Goku is dead" 16 said in a low voice. He sounded saddened by this, but not very much. "Now, we can move on".

"And do what?" 18 questioned that statement.

17 opened his mouth, but realized he too was at a loss. They had fulfilled their purpose. What now?

"Whatever we want! The sky's the limit!" he pointed upwards, excitedly.

He remembered where they were.

"Scratch that. We can go beyond!"

"You…you killed my father…" Gohan gulped between tears. "How could you! He did nothing wrong!"

"He was dragging down the global I.Q. level" 17 pointed out.

"That's not a valid reason!" Gohan cried.

It was, but not for him.

Gohan walked up to the black haired cyborg, daring him to fight.

"You…you!" the child stammered angrily.

17 bent down to him, pressing a finger to his lips.

"Shh…shh...just leave it be and go home, kid" and with that, pressed the finger forward. Gohan flew off the Lookout as if pushed by an incredible force, snapping out of his shock only upon impact with the ground below.

 _For Pete's sake, I didn't mean it literally!_

This was getting ridiculous. How strong was he, exactly?

Maybe, being this strong wasn't as great as he thought.

"What the hell is going on here?" he heard an annoying screeching saiyan voice come from behind the opening door.

 _Ok, maybe it's gonna be useful this one time._

* * *

The 2 villains stared at the action above through the handy Hell's View™ crystal ball.

"Seriously, what were you thinking giving this moron that kind of power?" Frieza growled, his tail swishing about nervously. HE should've been there doing this, not some androgynous earthling teenager!

"Yes, please explain", a voice came from behind, its own tail also moving about nervously. Cell walked forward, sporting a brand new halo above his head.

Dr. Gero raised his hands defensively.

"You have to understand, I never expected things would go this way"

"Really, you didn't expect a person that already hated you BEFORE you turned them into a killing machine to run out of control, kill you and defy your plans, AFTER you give him incredible power?" Frieza facepalmed. "How do you qualify as a genius?"

"How is he this strong, though?" Cell asked, curious. "My data didn't say he had this kind of power"

Gero coughed into his hand nervously.

"I may have given him an alternate power source that should only be activated through outside stimulation, usually through fusion, but apparently also accessible through extensive internal trauma" he said, hoping nobody caught that through this coughing. They did.

All the villains in hell gave him fierce glares.

"Well, look on the bright side! He did manage to kill Goku!" he added, feeling himself being cornered.

He was met with loud groans from everyone there.

"Big deal!" Raditz answered from the crowd.

"Besides, it doesn't matter" Frieza added "And you know why?" his voice was getting louder.

"Because they have the DRAGONBALLS!" he was practically yelling at that point.

"They were disabled when Piccolo and Kami fused back!" Gero defended himself.

"The Namek ones are still available, moron!" Frieza stomped his foot in frustration.

"What's Namek?" Gero asked, surprised.

Frieza and Cell facepalmed in unison.

They heard a scream come from above and the voice trailed as the owner fell to the ground below like a cannonball. Vegeta stood up, nursing his broken ass and sporting a halo himself.

Everyone stared at him in shock.

"What?" he asked, frowning at them.

* * *

He plowed through the Z fighters with ease. None of them stood a chance. It only took one punch. Nay, less than that, to defeat them one after the other. He didn't kill them, but still!

It was rather anticlimactic.

18 was busing herself trying on a couple of different hats in her compact mirror. She liked none of them.

16 was nursing a couple of sparrows, as usual. The birds seemed to have grown accustomed to the violence around them and didn't bother to fly away. 16 was pleased.

17 yawned, bored.

He had just finished defeating the tiny clown…mime…thing and a thought crossed his still far too agitated mind.

 _What now?_

"Well, we kind of have 2 choices" 18 pointed out, as if reading his thoughts. "A) we kill all humans"

"Ugh it's gonna take forever…" 17 rolled his eyes at this.

"or B) I go and find that noseless guy and go out with him. I mean, he seemed like the best of them, anyway" she added.

"Kill all humans it is, then" 17 decided for her.

* * *

They had a long-term purpose now, but it seemed so…unfulfilling. Killing humans just didn't have the same 'oomph'.

"You know…this kinda sucks" he turned to her, pouting.

"Well, what did you expect when you yourself said you were the STRONGEST in the UNIVERSE?" she said in a peeved tone, as if throwing his catch phrase back at him. This one hat was even worse than the others. 17's attitude was getting annoying, too.

And it was still only the same day!

17 hadn't even bothered to clean himself up yet. He looked rather homely.

"You should get those patched up" she pointed at his wounds.

"I'm fine. In fact, I feel better than ever!" he smiled at her, waving his hand at her worries.

"Strongest in the universe, right." she replied sarcastically.

"Excuse me little lady, but I beg to differ!" a voice came from beyond the clouds, an unknown person landing gently in front of them.

17 looked towards the source, feeling adrenaline coming back to him.

 _Aww hell yea! Now that's what I'm talking about!_

The clouds cleared and he pouted.

 _This is it?_

A purple skinny cat creature appeared before him, smirking at him.

"The hell are you?" 17 asked, stroking his eyebrows.

"I-" the cat came closer and looked him in the eyes sternly "- am the God of Destruction, Beerus. I had come to this planet in search of good food and a worthy adversary, and both of these seem to be missing right now!"

 _Did…did it just sass him right now?_

"Oho, you're in for a world of hurt, kitty!" 17 smirked.

They got into a fighting stance, staring each other down for what felt like ages. 18 was glad she brought a magazine with her. 16 still had his birds, so he was fine as well.

17 decided to break the silence.

"So, cat, you think you can take me on?"

"I am the God upon Gods of this Universe." The cat's voice rang out with confidence. "I have dominated this world for thousands of years since before the time you were even a thought in your master's mind. I have faced all the strongest adversaries there were. And none of them stood a chance."

"Finally!" 17 smiled happily.

* * *

He never stood a chance.

17 only punched him slightly hard, trying to get the feel of a fight back into his system. The cat made a wide eyed face and fell on his back, nursing his broken nose.

 _No._

The cat got up, a couple of tears forming in the corner of its eyes.

 _No. No._

"Wait till Whis hears about this! Then you'll be sorry!" Beerus pointed at him accusingly and flew off.

 _No no no no!_

 _Not another one!_

"'Grats on another victory, champ!" 18 mocked him, adjusting her earrings in her mirror.

 _Damn it all to hell!_

* * *

It didn't take long for the cat to return with a taller, blue skinned guy in tow. This guy looked even weaker than him.

 _Damn it._

Whis smiled at 17, looking him up and down. He was still wearing that torn shirt and rocking those cuts and bruises.

"I take it he's the guy who defeated you?" Whis pointed his staff at 17 who seemed to be out of the loop slightly.

"Yea" Beerus smiled, waiting to see the carnage unfold in front of him.

"Very well then." Whis nodded and pulled out a pergament from inside his robe, handing it to 17.

17 unrolled it and looked at the writing. It was a… first place diploma?

"Congratulations, you are now officially the strongest in the Universe" Whis said, taking a shocked Beerus by the arm and flashing away.

17's eyes went wide as he felt a migrane take over.

 _You are better than this. Act like you're better than this._

"Guess that calls for a celebration, huh?" 17 turned to his sister clasping his hands together.

 _Why why why why why…_ his mind cried salty tears of rage.

* * *

Not much of a party, was it.

Only them 3 and a table full of alcohol they brought themselves.

Not that he felt that proud of himself, more like he wanted to drown his sorrows in something potent. Not as potent as himself, APPARENTLY.

Since he was, after, all, beyond match in this world.

 _He didn't want to be the strongest in the Universe anymore._

"Bartender, bring me another beer!" 17 yelled after a poor guy helping the tables.

"S-sir, we don't serve alcohol here.." the guy cried "…to minors" he whispered as low as he could.

17 rolled his eyes.

 _He never truly believed he was the strongest anyway. Today came as a complete surprise. And it stopped being great quite quickly._

"Fine, I'll have a Happy Meal then". The kiddie corner at McDonalds was good enough for his needs.

 _He just wanted a good fight, a nice challenge, someone to give him a goal to reach again._

"And make it snappy, if he doesn't get his toy, he gets cranky" 18 burned him good this time, thoroughly frustrated with the situation. There wasn't even enough room in the ball pit for her, what a waste of time.

 _He wanted to get rid of this power somehow._

He ignored her, pouring himself a glass of everything on the table.

 _Don't do it, you're making a mistake!_ his mind threatened him.

"Who are you to tell me what to do?" he answered back.

 _I am your conscience,_ the voice replied.

"Oh yeah? Where were YOU when I made all my poor life choices?" he defied it, pulling all the bottles closer to himself.

"Aaand he's talking to himself. Great." 18 rolled her eyes at him. "you haven't even drank a single glass of alcohol and you're already wasted! I can't believe you!" she flayed her arms at him in annoyance.

"18, please, this is private" 17 told her and went back to his inane monologing.

 _He just wanted someone to take this pain away from him, in any way possible._

They heard the entrance bell ring and a set of feet dragged themselves to their location.

Krillin gulped as he came closer to them, standing at the opposite end of the table. 17 frowned and 18 smiled upon seeing him. 16 seemed completely neutral, but waved a kind 'hello' to the small man from inside the ball pit.

"What do you want, baldy?" 17 asked, unamused. He was having a chat with himself, and the shorty was interrupting, thank you very much.

"I…I came here to ask you…to stop…" he stammered, his voice weak as he tried, and failed, to look 17 in the eye.

"Stop what? We haven't really done anything" 17 retorted, playing with the toy car he got from the box.

Krillin realized he was kinda right. Surprising enough, he only killed Goku and Vegeta, who quite frankly brought it upon themselves. Everyone else only had minor injuries and permanently scarred egos. Even stranger is that they didn't kill any civilians thus far, but thoroughly destroyed all restaurants off the face of the Earth in some strange spite driven vendetta. This explained the fast food retreat, actually.

Still, this had got to end, right now, by his hand.

17 chuckled at him and threw the toy car his way. It left a serious bruising on his head.

"Yea, how about no. Make yourself useful and fetch me the champagne" he pointed at the bottle next to him on the far end of the table.

Krillin sighed in defeat and complied with his wishes. He moved his feet slowly as he came close to the cyborg, trying his best to meet his gaze. Not looking where he was walking had its consequences, it seemed, as he tripped over the toy car on the floor and dropped the champagne on top of 17's head, the bottle shattering on impact.

Krillin let out a loud yelp and jumped into the furthest corner of the room he could find, shivering in fear. He was done for now!

"You…!" 17 growled in anger, but felt a sudden jolt of pain in his skull that threw him to the ground. The liquid had poured through his cuts and into his circuitry, causing a chain reaction. He was like a toaster in a bathtub.

"I told you to cover up those wounds" 18 told him, squatting down next to his writing form on the ground.

He couldn't hear her anymore, his ears rang out hollow and his vision blurred. Pain, so much pain, he felt like he was dying all over again.

His energy source was shutting down. He couldn't die so pathetically. He had to survive! Somehow.

He felt something again…something familiar. His old power source! And that strange voice again.

' _Super 17 power module terminated'_ the voice said as he felt himself go limp.

 _Well, I guess this is the end, huh. It was fun knowing you_ , _17_ , his own voice said, becoming more and more distant.

'Wait, who are you? Why are you talking to me like that? Aren't you supposed to be my conscience?' 17 frowned inwardly. This suddenly got weirder.

The voice chuckled. _Nah, I was just messing with you. I am a fully robotic clone of you programmed in Hell by Dr. Gero to link my own existence to yours and give you insurmountable power through telepathy._

'Oh, so it wasn't the power of suggestion that made me stronger?'

Well, that was disappointing.

 _Of course not, you fool. Where did you hear of reverse psychology literally making you crush a God of Destruction?_

'I'd rather you stayed my conscience, really'

He wasn't drunk enough to hear all this.

 _I guess our little ride is over now. In order for you to live, I have to die. Though, I don't regret this too much. Spending a day with you, I came to realize something…_

17 felt somewhat sad for the disembodied voice that was sacrificing itself for him.

 _-You're kind of a dick._

Aaaand now he didn't feel bad at all.

 _Pull yourself together, man. Today you went full Vegeta. You never go full Vegeta._

And with that, the voice was gone.

THANK. KAMI.

* * *

"Hey, 17, you in there?" he heard 18's voice becoming clearer. He was still alive?

 _Woo!_

And this time he was sure this was his actual internal monologue.

"Hey, 18, you wouldn't believe what just happened" he tried to say, but it came out all stifled and mumbled, like he was gargling a mouthful of rocks.

He realized he was still trashing around on the ground like a beached herring, his limbs too weak to respond to him.

 _Shit._

He tried to get up, but he felt completely spent. He fell back down repeatedly like a deer on ice.

"A… a little help here?" he tried again, the words still not coming out right.

18 shook her head at him and smiled deviously. She got up and started walking away from him.

 _Where was she going?_

She walked over to Krillin who was still shaking in the corner and picked him up by the arm.

"Congratulations, hero. You just defeated my brother. I guess that makes you the Strongest in the Universe." she smirked at him.

 _No. Don't you dare._

"See, 17! I told you he was the best there was to offer!" she smiled at him as she made her way out of the place with Krillin in tow at her side, the confused fighter giggling to himself as they walked away.


End file.
